in the new world!!!!

Enjoying myself to the maximum extent by just merely getting lost in the amount of work i have infront of me!

oh ya.. one more thing!!! I am loving what i am doing right now!:)

The professional life!!! huh!!!!

where do i start??? My new office(refer to previous post) is a good place with super ambience, facilities, employees etc etc... ultimate professionalism.. though i like it.... its may be my lesson from the last experience not to get too attached or close with anyone. it does take a huge deal of emotional turmoil to get out of the practise of talking or keeping in touch with a person with whomm probably you might have been talking hours together. as a matter of fact even if we do an audit with a person for a month or so, we unknowingly start sharing a bond with that person and when we move on to a different audit, we will find it a different experience.


but frankly, see, i am also a normal human being who enjoys certain things. however if things dont work out the way i want it to work, i have decided to give its way! after all i have really learnt it the hard way! really the hard way!

wherever i go, whatever i do, whenever i see, i come across that whenever a girl talks with a guy or a guy talks with a girl, it is surely followed by a teasing session. now there are two sides to this. the healthier side is when the teasing is done playfully and directly. it helps in striking a bond with people around you. but the unhealthier or rather the scary side is when it is done at the back! when it remains as a gossip!!! its crap!

thats the reason why i am apprehensive about talking to guys. first of all, its very easy to get into controversies but too difficult to prove that you are genuine to anyone because its a very very very bad world out there!!!!

now something about E & Y

oh ya!!! i have got into Ernst and Young. but the fact remains that i still remain clueless as to how they picked me out from the hundred other applicants who sure would have got better marks. now, this is no sign of modesty or underplay but the point is i had absolutely no recommendation, absolutely bad marks. i had just got 50% to clear it! and there will be many more people who are better talented than me to get into such esteemed organisation.

now after that brief introduction, i want to say about the induction day.. that is the first day! to start of, as always, it started of well... looking forward... with my heart filled with remains of memories of my past!!!!

organisation with cream of people working there(except me).. hoping to learn atleast something and reciporcate it to them!

DDDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY(i wish i had the options of using smileys.. then i woud have used the one with the heart by its side.... i am happy.. dreamy.. floaty... basically in a nice "mood"... yesterday i read a post on moods by my frnd where she has written about how the whole idea of "mood" is conceived and how it is taken as an escaping statement for anything and everything these days. Then i sat down to think how true it was. we take the the name of mood for anything and everything we do with out even thinking that its we who are controlling our moods.

well, coming back to my post... i am dreamy today.. in contrast to all the depressing, lonely, boring, crappy posts. today i feel a lot light and happy... its nice to stay this way.. without any worries without heavy heart.... but neverthless it will not stay this way... for the past two hours my brain is flooded with thoughts, memories, conversations etc etc. it feels good if u know that u mean something to someone. it makes you even more glad if u come to know that u have made any difference in anyones life.


ok, i have been sitting and dreaming for hours today... laughing to myself... feeling good about people around me.. respecting them more than what i would do to myself... coz it was only a while ago did i realise that they are very precious..... now coming to the part of all the stupid sweet thoughts i have been getting today, the best part is that i have laughed it all... but if u are looking out for personal details? then this sure is not the place.. its truly censored!

i am wildy inspired by the conversations i had with three of my frnds. one friend told me that he/she missed me a lot and talking with him/her gave me utmost comfort and satisfaction. a feeling which a baby will get when it comes into the warm hands of its mom.

then the next on was actually a gtalk conversation... he is nice... different... nutty.. cranky... fun... absolutely caring sweetheart.. one of the best frnds i can ever ask for.. making me laugh all over and over again for all his jokes... one of the best ones... all the late night yapping spicing up my nights and next day early mornings... he makes me wonder about the various princples and values of life... we may be a bit different but yet we both are the same.... when i told him that he has inspired me, he said i am aristotle!!!! hmmm.... wat do i tell ??? well, thats what he is... nutty!!!

third one told me that i was very special and dear... could i have asked for a better day???

two quotes which i liked

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

Orkut!!!!!

The whole purpose of orkut was to connect people and help in providing better communication, long standing relationship, good rapport and refreshing old relationships... but has it paid to the purposes specified above???? it has given way to more and more problems only!!

This word orkut makes me go mad.... i am bored of orkutting... i dont have a point in staying on orkut when i have touch with those people i want to be with and when i can reach them on their mobile or land line numbers! With all the nuisance coming up on orkut like the fake profiles, porn communities, abusive scraps and the most recent one like blackmail calls... the whole point of orkut is lost. now that orkut has innumerous users, many of the profiles are getting deleted outrightly. but with this i thought people will stop getting into such online groups. but shutting down of orkut has led to increase in the number of these kinds of sites only!

P.s.- i do agree that previously i used to spend hell a lot of time on orkkut!!! actually i wasted a lot of time! but i don do it anymore...!!!

Customs are something which I hate! One thing which I am always against is to the fact that women succumb to the demands of a man! There has been N number of cases where I have seen the lady of the family let go of their career or stagnate their career and future for the sake of the family! Now the question is why should the lady do? The man also has equal interest in the family. It is still a male dominated society!!!! Whether they give 33% rights or not it is still a male dominated society! A woman is called the “weaker sex”. But to break the records I saw a news report on how a girl who was raped when she was in her teens has saved many more girls and children from the being sex workers and she has started a school all by herself! Now this speaks volumes about what a woman can do! Still she is called the “home maker” many take pride in telling that! I don say that its shameful to tell that! But when a person is capable of creating wonders then why should she waste that and forego her interest for her family! She can do things zillions things at a time!

One question which I was asking my mother today evening was that “why is it that a girl born in the family is never considered to be the property of that family and that there is always a reference made to her as the one who is going to move out of the family. Agreed that she is moving out at a later date but still why that name badge is given to her ever since she is born! Atleast in my case for the past 20years I have been referred as that!

Trust me its painful! And why is it that the daughters have to move out of the family??? There are zillion cases in which male children just put their parents in some random old age homes. Why don’t parents depend on girls for help and their security? Why don’t they consider daughters to be a part of their family???????????????? Why ? why? Why???

I want to be alone! I wanna shun myself from the outside world! Truly alone alone to myself! I don want to see a thing.

Daily in the mornings I HATE to wake up because I have to see people and talk to them. I HATE to go to office because people are fake and not true! I HATE to go to yoga class because they are not nice. I HATE to go to dance class because there is so much of politics and back biting which I don’t want to even hear but I am made to hear about! By the time I come back home I go overboard with all the gossips which I carry about people and feel so drained off! What a life it is! A machine-like life! LIFE SUCKS TRULY!!!!

I wake in the hope of atleast meeting one genuine person on this earth! Will I find one? Or will I just keep searching and finally a day will come when my life will end and still I will just keep looking out for a genuine person! I am tired of this whole concept of “pretend to be” “ smile like” “laugh like” “talk like” “ appear to be”.

Many a times I have thought that I want a friend for life time. But it has never been that way! Whenever I get to know a particular person a little better they are taken away! I am tired of searching for friends! For finding one person who is nice and sweet it takes me a wholesome amount of time and I also have to bombard with infinite amount of people, have loads of bad experiences, hate people, hate myself! Now the question is, is all the effort put worth??? I want more friends! More people who talk their mind and not “pretend to be”. It scares the shit out of me when I see people pretending to be something else!

Will I ever get to see someone genuine!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Do we have a choice to be called the way we want it to be?

no.. not really.. check out this.....
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070808/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_newzealand_name

This morning i woke up with a shake. I had a dream as to how i miss my friend. Now i realise how its just not a dream only. Its more than that! its reality! Its hard to take. All the sudden visits to Vandana towers is all over.... all chatting merily for hours in the near by park is over.. all the intellectual and stupid talks are all over.... End of era!!! All my friends who were like the small and the big world i would have thought of till now have all started hunting for their own lives. Same is the case with me! Still it hurts! Now one of them have gone to banglore for her journalism course. What do i say? She may not be able to understand how much i miss her! Three of my others friends are working in audit firms whom i rarely get to meet! Now this is what i call CHANGE!

Change is so painful yet its beautiful and powerful!

miss u shil....... (one post specially for you... because i cannot control it... just wanted to tell someone)

Big hug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sheesh..! i just realised that we have all grown up! cha... i hate this!

Do u believe in platonic relations?

I believe in it and have experienced it couple of times. To put precise I have loads of guy friends. Frankly I am jabbering person and I can go on talking with any person non stop with out making any sense to anyone. Now the question is whether platonic relationships exist or not…

Some random thoughts…

“They exist… but I dunno whether I have had any….”

“I have experienced them and they sure exist!”

“They don exist … whats the necessity of a girl to have relationship with a guy or vice versa when she can share many more things with the person in the same gender”

“In this world, noone can be independent and self sufficient! Its always good to have friends in the opposite sex so that many things which cannot be told to the person in the same sex can be told to the person in the opposite sex”

I have posted many posts on my friends who are girls but never thought of posting on the others…. So here it goes…!

Each one of us will have our own comfort zone with each person and it varies with each person. Although it varies with each and every person, I mean the degree of closeness. But I have always found a transparency in friendships with a guy which is very rare to find with girls. The transparency in friendship with girls is not possible because sometimes they are unbelievably secretive. It’s too hard to predict what they think and feel about you. As far as guys are concerned, jus sit in front of them and break open the thing which is breaking your head and spontaneously u will get an answer and that’s the hard truth. Now it all depends on how strong you are to mentally take the truth!

Few are truly cool friends that they go to any extent of helping me out. few are hesitant enough to do anything, yet they are sweet and good friend! Now what do I say, they will be nice only because they have got a person like me!!!( ok.. i get that eggs and tomatoes are outside my room door.. i shall stop it before u start throwing!!!)

Frankly speaking, except for some handful of people who are my best friends I can declare that I have failed to maintain transparency with friends who are girls.! However that’s not the case with the guy friends!

Do I have to be happy or sad???

A day when I felt I was special to many many people who were around me. It meant a lot to me when I spoke with those friends of mine who were absolutely scared than me… oh ya! I am talking about the same marks stuff! The minute I sent message to people that I cleared.. I got calls.. more calls.. much more and many more… few of them giving a sigh of relief, a few shedding tears of happiness, and many congratulating! It feels good when we come to know that there are people to care for us and share our happiness! It was like conquering half of mount everest! Now that half is done the other half will be much more a rough ride! So getting ready for that!

By the way, my day was made that day!:)

Final Bliss of air....

there came the news that I cleared PE-2( for all those who are not aware of it, its the chartered accountancy course second level)...! Am glad about it!:)

look at the pic... brde hitting the groom with garland;P
just before the thali scene;P
ammi medhichu arundhdhi parthu
wow... mehendi.... looks beautiful:)

grooms kasi yatra

Wedding s are made in heaven
Customs are made by human beings!!!

Where shall I start? What do I write?
I am confused. A few days back, I was one of those ignorant fools who didn’t believe in the elaborate customs involved in marriage. Little did I know that one marriage could change the whole perspective about my opinion on weddings. Just a week ago, my cousin got married. It was loads of fun. Fun is an understatement. While I am typing out this post loads of confusions running around in my small brains…
So finally decided to give snap shots of what happened in the marriage….. and one disclaimer is the pics r not in the chronological order.. forgive me for that.. its the mistake of my blog.. its not uploading pics in the same order:)

Conflict for identity……

Ever since I started going to school, people have asked whether I was “not a hindu” and I have been very kind enough to explain them my back ground(inspite of which many were NOT supposedly satisfied by that fact)… this is may be because “truth is bitter”. Very recently, may be three days back, a lady from saber pens private limited(the place I go for audit these days), she asked me whether I was a north Indian! I wondered! Do I even remotely resemble like a north Indian? No! I have many reasons as to why I don’t resemble one.

I don wear JILL JILL eye glaring jewels
I will never talk in hindi because I have a very big inferiority complex when it comes to talking in hindi
I don’t resemble one because I am not one!

Then, yesterday one girl asked me whether I was a Christian… I said no. then I was thinking of all possible Christian names which I would have had if I was one…

Nivedita Lawrence
Nivedita joseph
Nivedita Ralph
Nivedita daniel
does this sound good???? no...!!!! nivedita N sounds perfect!!!!

Well.. I cant think of any other Christian names… though I have many Christian friends cant take too much of efforts to think and type. Ofcourse I do agree that I am a lazy bum!

Till now, people have asked me whether I am a Christian, muslim, hindu non Brahmin, hindu Brahmin(iyengar) etc etc but for the real thing. Anyways me first a Indian and then only all of these…(touch panniten illa???) ha ha… oh ya..!!!i am happy to have this track record because that will help people to feel at home with me!:)

p.s.- the author is not responsible if this article has made u go crazy after reading this article!!!!
p.p.s.- thanks a lot for showing so much patience in reading this article..:)

Is there anything called god??? I asked myself this question and this is what I finally arrived at. The theory goes like this. I would call myself to be a agnostic. I do believe that there is something called destiny and that destiny is created only by us. Noone else! And this is exactly what I do if I want to feel the existence of god, I see it in the people around me. The people whom we meet in day to day life are not some random thing which is happening. We learn something or the other good or bad (well there is nothing like good or bad.. it just depends on whether u r comfortable doing it or not…) inspiring or admirable or adorable people with whom we might feel comfortable or uncomfortable or irritated etc. Now its up to us to choose with whom we want to be and whether we are comfortable in that company. I believe that that person who make me cry or disturbed is that god is trying to test my faith on him (now the god is truly the person who is making me cry). And the person who stands by me and says “come on u ass, get up and do something about it instead of cribbing” this is where the god is helping me get out of the problem. There is an old saying which means “god tests his devotees but never leaves them”. And if at all anyone is going to leave you in the process, then it means they were never yours. I have had many problems in my life too in which I have had people unexpectedly helping me out of the blue. I consider them to be god and they are very near to my heart. Over the period of time that list has become so big so big so big that it’s difficult to list all their names, but they come under one category "god"!

Another theory goes like this… each of our soul is god. All our souls are one but its just the character of each one of us which makes us look different. So if we swear anyone, it means we are swearing ourselves. And by the way, why would anyone swear themselves? (Considering the fact that everyone feels that they are the perfect souls on earth!!!)

I don’t say that my way of thinking is only correct or is also correct.. not justifying anything. This is my understanding about god and of course it gives me immense pleasure when I do certain dance items where its more of a conversation between two souls. One of my favourite verse is from a song called sri charka raja in that song a very moving line is

“ullagam muzhuvadum endhan aga murai kanavum”
which mean let the rest of the world look at my inner heart rather than the outer beauty which is just skin deep!!!
What a line?!? Wow…. Can sink into such songs

p.s.- thankooo shil babe...!!!! super topic:) hug!!!

Hi blogeees(blogmates)!

A very long time since I posted anything! Feeling guilty. But cant really help it because of the work I have joined very recently. Yeah! I am working in an audit firm.Now about the job.. I am not good at accounts for I know for sure that I will do atleast one silly mistake even in a simple problem. So when I am going for auditing other companies accounts and when I find some mistake it feels really good because it gives me some satisfaction that I also know a bit of accounts. This post is not going to be long. I am too lazy to type it out. Just wanted to tell that I am still alive to those people who read my blog ( if at all anyone reads it except for those people whom I know):)

Wat crap?!!!?

Helmets??? Why god? Why??? Worst thing that can ever happen!!!

Opportunity cost in having a boyfriend/girlfriend!(look at the commerce students brain!!!)

DISCLAIMER: All might not be applicable to you, some may apply and some may not.

1.Too much off attachment towards a person.
2.long hours on phone with the other person ( late night talks)
3.lack of sleep or sleeping in afternoons (don ask me whether talking with friends late night is good? Even if u ask, I would say it’s good because they don talk anything mushy which makes u have a sleepless night!)
4.thinking that person is the end of your world
5.losing individuality (utter stupidity)
6.neglecting friends (friends are not losing, u r losing)
7.Overdoing things towards that person (whats the need?)
8.Giving a call after walking down ten yards from your house telling the other person that I have walked down (come on! This is heights! As if all these years you have informed someone about every damn thing!)
9.guys don’t want to get into commitment
10.giving a update of what happened everyday in the night! (please, give my space man! Even before marriage, so many QUESTIONS! Gawd!)


to conclude, three cheers to being single!!!

p.s.- was intended to be fun.

ding!

a test post letting the world know that i am still alive!