Wednesday, September 26, 2007

in the new world!!!!

Enjoying myself to the maximum extent by just merely getting lost in the amount of work i have infront of me!

oh ya.. one more thing!!! I am loving what i am doing right now!:)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The professional life!!! huh!!!!

where do i start??? My new office(refer to previous post) is a good place with super ambience, facilities, employees etc etc... ultimate professionalism.. though i like it.... its may be my lesson from the last experience not to get too attached or close with anyone. it does take a huge deal of emotional turmoil to get out of the practise of talking or keeping in touch with a person with whomm probably you might have been talking hours together. as a matter of fact even if we do an audit with a person for a month or so, we unknowingly start sharing a bond with that person and when we move on to a different audit, we will find it a different experience.

but frankly, see, i am also a normal human being who enjoys certain things. however if things dont work out the way i want it to work, i have decided to give its way! after all i have really learnt it the hard way! really the hard way!

wherever i go, whatever i do, whenever i see, i come across that whenever a girl talks with a guy or a guy talks with a girl, it is surely followed by a teasing session. now there are two sides to this. the healthier side is when the teasing is done playfully and directly. it helps in striking a bond with people around you. but the unhealthier or rather the scary side is when it is done at the back! when it remains as a gossip!!! its crap!

thats the reason why i am apprehensive about talking to guys. first of all, its very easy to get into controversies but too difficult to prove that you are genuine to anyone because its a very very very bad world out there!!!!

Monday, September 17, 2007

now something about E & Y

oh ya!!! i have got into Ernst and Young. but the fact remains that i still remain clueless as to how they picked me out from the hundred other applicants who sure would have got better marks. now, this is no sign of modesty or underplay but the point is i had absolutely no recommendation, absolutely bad marks. i had just got 50% to clear it! and there will be many more people who are better talented than me to get into such esteemed organisation.

now after that brief introduction, i want to say about the induction day.. that is the first day! to start of, as always, it started of well... looking forward... with my heart filled with remains of memories of my past!!!!

organisation with cream of people working there(except me).. hoping to learn atleast something and reciporcate it to them!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

DDDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY(i wish i had the options of using smileys.. then i woud have used the one with the heart by its side.... i am happy.. dreamy.. floaty... basically in a nice "mood"... yesterday i read a post on moods by my frnd where she has written about how the whole idea of "mood" is conceived and how it is taken as an escaping statement for anything and everything these days. Then i sat down to think how true it was. we take the the name of mood for anything and everything we do with out even thinking that its we who are controlling our moods.

well, coming back to my post... i am dreamy today.. in contrast to all the depressing, lonely, boring, crappy posts. today i feel a lot light and happy... its nice to stay this way.. without any worries without heavy heart.... but neverthless it will not stay this way... for the past two hours my brain is flooded with thoughts, memories, conversations etc etc. it feels good if u know that u mean something to someone. it makes you even more glad if u come to know that u have made any difference in anyones life.

ok, i have been sitting and dreaming for hours today... laughing to myself... feeling good about people around me.. respecting them more than what i would do to myself... coz it was only a while ago did i realise that they are very precious..... now coming to the part of all the stupid sweet thoughts i have been getting today, the best part is that i have laughed it all... but if u are looking out for personal details? then this sure is not the place.. its truly censored!

i am wildy inspired by the conversations i had with three of my frnds. one friend told me that he/she missed me a lot and talking with him/her gave me utmost comfort and satisfaction. a feeling which a baby will get when it comes into the warm hands of its mom.

then the next on was actually a gtalk conversation... he is nice... different... nutty.. cranky... fun... absolutely caring sweetheart.. one of the best frnds i can ever ask for.. making me laugh all over and over again for all his jokes... one of the best ones... all the late night yapping spicing up my nights and next day early mornings... he makes me wonder about the various princples and values of life... we may be a bit different but yet we both are the same.... when i told him that he has inspired me, he said i am aristotle!!!! hmmm.... wat do i tell ??? well, thats what he is... nutty!!!

third one told me that i was very special and dear... could i have asked for a better day???

two quotes which i liked

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.

Friday, September 07, 2007


The whole purpose of orkut was to connect people and help in providing better communication, long standing relationship, good rapport and refreshing old relationships... but has it paid to the purposes specified above???? it has given way to more and more problems only!!

This word orkut makes me go mad.... i am bored of orkutting... i dont have a point in staying on orkut when i have touch with those people i want to be with and when i can reach them on their mobile or land line numbers! With all the nuisance coming up on orkut like the fake profiles, porn communities, abusive scraps and the most recent one like blackmail calls... the whole point of orkut is lost. now that orkut has innumerous users, many of the profiles are getting deleted outrightly. but with this i thought people will stop getting into such online groups. but shutting down of orkut has led to increase in the number of these kinds of sites only!

P.s.- i do agree that previously i used to spend hell a lot of time on orkkut!!! actually i wasted a lot of time! but i don do it anymore...!!!

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Customs are something which I hate! One thing which I am always against is to the fact that women succumb to the demands of a man! There has been N number of cases where I have seen the lady of the family let go of their career or stagnate their career and future for the sake of the family! Now the question is why should the lady do? The man also has equal interest in the family. It is still a male dominated society!!!! Whether they give 33% rights or not it is still a male dominated society! A woman is called the “weaker sex”. But to break the records I saw a news report on how a girl who was raped when she was in her teens has saved many more girls and children from the being sex workers and she has started a school all by herself! Now this speaks volumes about what a woman can do! Still she is called the “home maker” many take pride in telling that! I don say that its shameful to tell that! But when a person is capable of creating wonders then why should she waste that and forego her interest for her family! She can do things zillions things at a time!

One question which I was asking my mother today evening was that “why is it that a girl born in the family is never considered to be the property of that family and that there is always a reference made to her as the one who is going to move out of the family. Agreed that she is moving out at a later date but still why that name badge is given to her ever since she is born! Atleast in my case for the past 20years I have been referred as that!

Trust me its painful! And why is it that the daughters have to move out of the family??? There are zillion cases in which male children just put their parents in some random old age homes. Why don’t parents depend on girls for help and their security? Why don’t they consider daughters to be a part of their family???????????????? Why ? why? Why???

I want to be alone! I wanna shun myself from the outside world! Truly alone alone to myself! I don want to see a thing.

Daily in the mornings I HATE to wake up because I have to see people and talk to them. I HATE to go to office because people are fake and not true! I HATE to go to yoga class because they are not nice. I HATE to go to dance class because there is so much of politics and back biting which I don’t want to even hear but I am made to hear about! By the time I come back home I go overboard with all the gossips which I carry about people and feel so drained off! What a life it is! A machine-like life! LIFE SUCKS TRULY!!!!

I wake in the hope of atleast meeting one genuine person on this earth! Will I find one? Or will I just keep searching and finally a day will come when my life will end and still I will just keep looking out for a genuine person! I am tired of this whole concept of “pretend to be” “ smile like” “laugh like” “talk like” “ appear to be”.

Many a times I have thought that I want a friend for life time. But it has never been that way! Whenever I get to know a particular person a little better they are taken away! I am tired of searching for friends! For finding one person who is nice and sweet it takes me a wholesome amount of time and I also have to bombard with infinite amount of people, have loads of bad experiences, hate people, hate myself! Now the question is, is all the effort put worth??? I want more friends! More people who talk their mind and not “pretend to be”. It scares the shit out of me when I see people pretending to be something else!

Will I ever get to see someone genuine!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?