Saturday, March 04, 2006

Relatives and cousins and friends

I have always had this iota of doubt as to why there are innumerous relations like sister’s brother’s cousin’s son and each one of them having a name for themselves because I don’t think anyone of us take any steps in remembering those complex relations. Anyways I have miserably failed in remembering those relationships (considering my wonderful memory power). All I do when I see my distant relatives is just give a smile of recognition and when they ask me whether I remember them I will immediately without even giving a thought will say “ungala ennakku theriyadha?”. Some people stop with that but some continue to make me feel more miserable by remembering my childhood days and asking me whether I remember. But I have a ready made answer for that too.. I will just tell that I was too young then and so I don’t remember anything.

Almost all will be facing these kinds of embarrassments but for me it’s more like self-inviting problems. After my dance programmes I will be receiving gifts and boquets from those persons whom I have not even met till now. Those days will be the most embarrassing days of my life. I really feel miserable for my indifferent attitude towards the concept RELATIONSHIPS.

As far as it comes to my interpretation with regards to this topic, I would any day prefer friends when compared to cousins and cousins brother’s sister’s son and blah blah.. This is mainly for the following reasons.

1. Easy to remember ( I mean the word ‘friend’)
2. You can be yourself.. that is you need not be formal and need not put a false image before anyone.
3. They are there for you at any time and very easily approachable.
4. They are the only people who can make you comfortable after your parents and your own siblings.
5. Since they are of the same age they can empathize better than anyone can do.


Often I have had arguments with my mother, where she says that I am acting too selfish i.e. I am just bothered about my work and my friends and that I don’t care for my relatives. She will compare her generation with that of mine. She says that when she was a teenager she was much more attached to her cousins and siblings when compared to her friends.

But my opinion is that the whole concept of cousins has disappeared. These days most of them feel that spending time with friends are much more fun when compared to spending time with cousins. At least in my case its absolutely true. I am much more comfortable with my friends (so are my cousins). One simple reason is because they understand my feelings and give respect to my emotions.

In most of the relations or cousins, its not the emotions or understanding that plays the role, it’s the so-called relation that we have been hearing from the time we were born. So all these cousins relations are also now turning out to be more like hi-bye relations.

Well, this is actually my own opinion.. I might be wrong too. There are exceptions to every thing..

16 comments:

Shilpa Krishnan said...

hey da. nice post. well, it might be a pain to remember all the terminologies but some of them do sound quite funny. when we were kids, we cousins used to call each other ammanga, ammanji, athanga and athan just to drive each other up the wall. was fun. and about preferring friends over cousins, its quite otherwise with me. one of my favourite persons in this world is my cousin (my athanga to be precise). friends sure are a lot of fun, but then, the word "fun" takes a whole new definition when you are living under the same roof 24*7 with a bunch of crazy cousins. oh! those days of petty fights, of midnight feasts, of boys vs girls games, of calling spirits late in the night, of bitching about some of the uncles and aunts, of hiding the goodies and eating them in secrecy... some things are more fun with cousins around.

Shilpa Krishnan said...

hey da. nice post. well, it might be a pain to remember all the terminologies but some of them do sound quite funny. when we were kids, we cousins used to call each other ammanga, ammanji, athanga and athan just to drive each other up the wall. was fun. and about preferring friends over cousins, its quite otherwise with me. one of my favourite persons in this world is my cousin (my athanga to be precise). friends sure are a lot of fun, but then, the word "fun" takes a whole new definition when you are living under the same roof 24*7 with a bunch of crazy cousins. oh! those days of petty fights, of midnight feasts, of boys vs girls games, of calling spirits late in the night, of bitching about some of the uncles and aunts, of hiding the goodies and eating them in secrecy... some things are more fun with cousins around.

nivi said...

hey thanks for that beautiful comments.. as i said i think i am an exception.. my bro also feels the same way as i feel.. he gives his friends a greater weightage...
nice to know that u have so much fun... touch wood!

swathi said...

hi babe.. yup remebering relations is really tough.. especially if ur thatha has seven brothers each having 3or 4 kids.. its crazy for me.. wen my cuz meenakshi was here it was all the more confusing.. i would call athai chitti, mama periappa and blah!!! but cousins can b loads of fun.. especially wen the whole jing bang meet after ages.. its also fun gettin to know unknown cousins..

but when it comes to friends I totally agree wid you.. nothing to beat the crazy times we've had together..

anywayz keep ur eyes and ears open u mite have an unknown cuz u will really end up likin

luv swat..

nivi said...

hey babe.. i am not a lucky soul like u di... i think i know all my second third and fourth cuz ... some r interesting but still don know we guys are jus held up with our stuff so.. we r not that very close... anyways hoping to know a unknown cuz:-)

nivi said...

i was talking abt ganesh.. he he he

g-man said...

hullo, i seemed to have skipped this one. nice one, same thing happens to me all the time. i never remember names. i have a pretty good way out though. i don't use the name :D i just talk, as usual, without any names. just an occasional da in b/w. well i knw how it is with ppl you dnt knw who are related to ya...most bloody uncomfie thing in the world. but its really great if you're close with someone you're related to because you know you can be there for them no matter what.

g-man said...

hey is that me someone was referring to down there?

nivi said...

yup.. coz u are swats cousin she was telling me about knowing 'unknown cousins' so jus told ur name... thats it... coz she knows u and i don have any cousin like that... so thats why...

nivi said...

i meant i don know anyone like that...

g-man said...

o0o ok...so wazup?

nivi said...

hmmm.. nothin much in life.. sems comin up mext week... waaaaahhh!! boring...

g-man said...

o0o sems, huh? we got our series on april 17 ( i think ) and our university exams in da last week of may. 10 bloody subjects. already starting to swear...sigh...this is gonna be a coupla really long months

nivi said...

oh... till may a? its a llong period.. but still don worry.. i will be having my other exams till then.. i mean CA.. so will give u company... don worry..:-)

g-man said...

yay! then i bug you and you bug me until we both so bugged we dnt feel like studyin :) sounds wonderful huh?

nivi said...

ya absolutely... awesome life we have... be proud of it....:-)