Conflict for identity……

Ever since I started going to school, people have asked whether I was “not a hindu” and I have been very kind enough to explain them my back ground(inspite of which many were NOT supposedly satisfied by that fact)… this is may be because “truth is bitter”. Very recently, may be three days back, a lady from saber pens private limited(the place I go for audit these days), she asked me whether I was a north Indian! I wondered! Do I even remotely resemble like a north Indian? No! I have many reasons as to why I don’t resemble one.

I don wear JILL JILL eye glaring jewels
I will never talk in hindi because I have a very big inferiority complex when it comes to talking in hindi
I don’t resemble one because I am not one!

Then, yesterday one girl asked me whether I was a Christian… I said no. then I was thinking of all possible Christian names which I would have had if I was one…

Nivedita Lawrence
Nivedita joseph
Nivedita Ralph
Nivedita daniel
does this sound good???? no...!!!! nivedita N sounds perfect!!!!

Well.. I cant think of any other Christian names… though I have many Christian friends cant take too much of efforts to think and type. Ofcourse I do agree that I am a lazy bum!

Till now, people have asked me whether I am a Christian, muslim, hindu non Brahmin, hindu Brahmin(iyengar) etc etc but for the real thing. Anyways me first a Indian and then only all of these…(touch panniten illa???) ha ha… oh ya..!!!i am happy to have this track record because that will help people to feel at home with me!:)

p.s.- the author is not responsible if this article has made u go crazy after reading this article!!!!
p.p.s.- thanks a lot for showing so much patience in reading this article..:)

Is there anything called god??? I asked myself this question and this is what I finally arrived at. The theory goes like this. I would call myself to be a agnostic. I do believe that there is something called destiny and that destiny is created only by us. Noone else! And this is exactly what I do if I want to feel the existence of god, I see it in the people around me. The people whom we meet in day to day life are not some random thing which is happening. We learn something or the other good or bad (well there is nothing like good or bad.. it just depends on whether u r comfortable doing it or not…) inspiring or admirable or adorable people with whom we might feel comfortable or uncomfortable or irritated etc. Now its up to us to choose with whom we want to be and whether we are comfortable in that company. I believe that that person who make me cry or disturbed is that god is trying to test my faith on him (now the god is truly the person who is making me cry). And the person who stands by me and says “come on u ass, get up and do something about it instead of cribbing” this is where the god is helping me get out of the problem. There is an old saying which means “god tests his devotees but never leaves them”. And if at all anyone is going to leave you in the process, then it means they were never yours. I have had many problems in my life too in which I have had people unexpectedly helping me out of the blue. I consider them to be god and they are very near to my heart. Over the period of time that list has become so big so big so big that it’s difficult to list all their names, but they come under one category "god"!

Another theory goes like this… each of our soul is god. All our souls are one but its just the character of each one of us which makes us look different. So if we swear anyone, it means we are swearing ourselves. And by the way, why would anyone swear themselves? (Considering the fact that everyone feels that they are the perfect souls on earth!!!)

I don’t say that my way of thinking is only correct or is also correct.. not justifying anything. This is my understanding about god and of course it gives me immense pleasure when I do certain dance items where its more of a conversation between two souls. One of my favourite verse is from a song called sri charka raja in that song a very moving line is

“ullagam muzhuvadum endhan aga murai kanavum”
which mean let the rest of the world look at my inner heart rather than the outer beauty which is just skin deep!!!
What a line?!? Wow…. Can sink into such songs

p.s.- thankooo shil babe...!!!! super topic:) hug!!!

Hi blogeees(blogmates)!

A very long time since I posted anything! Feeling guilty. But cant really help it because of the work I have joined very recently. Yeah! I am working in an audit firm.Now about the job.. I am not good at accounts for I know for sure that I will do atleast one silly mistake even in a simple problem. So when I am going for auditing other companies accounts and when I find some mistake it feels really good because it gives me some satisfaction that I also know a bit of accounts. This post is not going to be long. I am too lazy to type it out. Just wanted to tell that I am still alive to those people who read my blog ( if at all anyone reads it except for those people whom I know):)

Wat crap?!!!?

Helmets??? Why god? Why??? Worst thing that can ever happen!!!