Conflict for identity……

Ever since I started going to school, people have asked whether I was “not a hindu” and I have been very kind enough to explain them my back ground(inspite of which many were NOT supposedly satisfied by that fact)… this is may be because “truth is bitter”. Very recently, may be three days back, a lady from saber pens private limited(the place I go for audit these days), she asked me whether I was a north Indian! I wondered! Do I even remotely resemble like a north Indian? No! I have many reasons as to why I don’t resemble one.

I don wear JILL JILL eye glaring jewels
I will never talk in hindi because I have a very big inferiority complex when it comes to talking in hindi
I don’t resemble one because I am not one!

Then, yesterday one girl asked me whether I was a Christian… I said no. then I was thinking of all possible Christian names which I would have had if I was one…

Nivedita Lawrence
Nivedita joseph
Nivedita Ralph
Nivedita daniel
does this sound good???? no...!!!! nivedita N sounds perfect!!!!

Well.. I cant think of any other Christian names… though I have many Christian friends cant take too much of efforts to think and type. Ofcourse I do agree that I am a lazy bum!

Till now, people have asked me whether I am a Christian, muslim, hindu non Brahmin, hindu Brahmin(iyengar) etc etc but for the real thing. Anyways me first a Indian and then only all of these…(touch panniten illa???) ha ha… oh ya..!!!i am happy to have this track record because that will help people to feel at home with me!:)

p.s.- the author is not responsible if this article has made u go crazy after reading this article!!!!
p.p.s.- thanks a lot for showing so much patience in reading this article..:)

Is there anything called god??? I asked myself this question and this is what I finally arrived at. The theory goes like this. I would call myself to be a agnostic. I do believe that there is something called destiny and that destiny is created only by us. Noone else! And this is exactly what I do if I want to feel the existence of god, I see it in the people around me. The people whom we meet in day to day life are not some random thing which is happening. We learn something or the other good or bad (well there is nothing like good or bad.. it just depends on whether u r comfortable doing it or not…) inspiring or admirable or adorable people with whom we might feel comfortable or uncomfortable or irritated etc. Now its up to us to choose with whom we want to be and whether we are comfortable in that company. I believe that that person who make me cry or disturbed is that god is trying to test my faith on him (now the god is truly the person who is making me cry). And the person who stands by me and says “come on u ass, get up and do something about it instead of cribbing” this is where the god is helping me get out of the problem. There is an old saying which means “god tests his devotees but never leaves them”. And if at all anyone is going to leave you in the process, then it means they were never yours. I have had many problems in my life too in which I have had people unexpectedly helping me out of the blue. I consider them to be god and they are very near to my heart. Over the period of time that list has become so big so big so big that it’s difficult to list all their names, but they come under one category "god"!

Another theory goes like this… each of our soul is god. All our souls are one but its just the character of each one of us which makes us look different. So if we swear anyone, it means we are swearing ourselves. And by the way, why would anyone swear themselves? (Considering the fact that everyone feels that they are the perfect souls on earth!!!)

I don’t say that my way of thinking is only correct or is also correct.. not justifying anything. This is my understanding about god and of course it gives me immense pleasure when I do certain dance items where its more of a conversation between two souls. One of my favourite verse is from a song called sri charka raja in that song a very moving line is

“ullagam muzhuvadum endhan aga murai kanavum”
which mean let the rest of the world look at my inner heart rather than the outer beauty which is just skin deep!!!
What a line?!? Wow…. Can sink into such songs

p.s.- thankooo shil babe...!!!! super topic:) hug!!!

Hi blogeees(blogmates)!

A very long time since I posted anything! Feeling guilty. But cant really help it because of the work I have joined very recently. Yeah! I am working in an audit firm.Now about the job.. I am not good at accounts for I know for sure that I will do atleast one silly mistake even in a simple problem. So when I am going for auditing other companies accounts and when I find some mistake it feels really good because it gives me some satisfaction that I also know a bit of accounts. This post is not going to be long. I am too lazy to type it out. Just wanted to tell that I am still alive to those people who read my blog ( if at all anyone reads it except for those people whom I know):)

Wat crap?!!!?

Helmets??? Why god? Why??? Worst thing that can ever happen!!!

Opportunity cost in having a boyfriend/girlfriend!(look at the commerce students brain!!!)

DISCLAIMER: All might not be applicable to you, some may apply and some may not.

1.Too much off attachment towards a person.
2.long hours on phone with the other person ( late night talks)
3.lack of sleep or sleeping in afternoons (don ask me whether talking with friends late night is good? Even if u ask, I would say it’s good because they don talk anything mushy which makes u have a sleepless night!)
4.thinking that person is the end of your world
5.losing individuality (utter stupidity)
6.neglecting friends (friends are not losing, u r losing)
7.Overdoing things towards that person (whats the need?)
8.Giving a call after walking down ten yards from your house telling the other person that I have walked down (come on! This is heights! As if all these years you have informed someone about every damn thing!)
9.guys don’t want to get into commitment
10.giving a update of what happened everyday in the night! (please, give my space man! Even before marriage, so many QUESTIONS! Gawd!)


to conclude, three cheers to being single!!!

p.s.- was intended to be fun.

ding!

a test post letting the world know that i am still alive!

1.Were you named after anyone? No
2. Do you wish on stars? nope
3. When did you last cry? Three months back
4. Do you like your handwriting? Hate it!
5. What is your favourite meat? I don eat chicken
6. What is your most embarrassing CD on your shelf? My dance prograM cds because I feel awkward to see myself on videos
7. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Yes
8.Are you a daredevil? Sometimes
9. How do you release anger? Screaming.. shouting at the person with whom I am angry
10. Where is your second home? Pavi s house or bessy
11. Do you trust others easily? Kinda yes
12. What was your favourite toy as a child? Don’t remember whether I used to play with dolls much because I used to play a lot with my cousin who was of my age and we were playing games like teacher teacher most of the time…!
13. What class in school/college do you think is totally useless? Environtmental science
14. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yeah I do!
15. Have you ever been in a mosh pit? No.16. What do you look for in a guy/girl? Hmmm…. How simple they are!
17. Would you bungee jump? Yes.
18. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I don’t wear shoes these days
19. What's your favourite ice cream? Casata… ever since I was born!
20. What are your favourite colours? Red, black, white
21. What are your least favourite things? Doing certain things in the name of socialing with people. I would like to be myself, let people like me for that and not for any status thingy and all…. All a pretence…!
22. How many people do you have a crush on right now? Hmmm… one!
23. Who do you miss most right now? Hmmm…. Noone as of now
24. What are you listening to right now? Katrin mozhi- mozhi
25. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? red
26. What is the weather like right now? Very hot!
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? ssupriya
28. The "first" thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their attitude
29. Do you like the person who sent you this? Dunno who this person is.. I just flicked it because I liked the tag and have been longing to do one for a long time
30. How are you today? As usual cool
31. Favourite non alcoholic drink? Anything but aerated drinks
32. Favourite alcoholic drink? I don’t drink alcohol
33. Natural hair colour? Black
34. Eye colour? Black
35. Wear contacts? nope
36. Siblings? Yes
37. Favourite month? May
38. Favourite food? Dosa anyday!
39. Favourite day of the year? God! I don’t know…
40. Have you ever been too shy to ask someone out? No. but never wanted to ask anyone out though
41. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings better
42. Summer or winter? Winter
43. Holi or Diwali? Deepavali.
44. Do you like your name? ya. The best thing about me!
45. What book/magazine are you reading? A beautiful mind( autobiography of john nash)
46. What's on your mouse pad? Don't have one.
47. What did you watch on TV last night? Didn’t see TV last night
48. Favourite Smell? Smell of rain
49. Have you ever regretted breaking up with someone? Not experienced it yet!
50. Most tiresome thing you’ve ever experienced/done? Finishing this tag!
I've also decided to tag: Anybody who is bored enough to do this????

Dreams!

Why do they occur? I get dreams when I don want them! They just come from nowhere yet with a bang to give me all kinds of excitement and scary thoughts. That’s when I realize that there is a very very scary side of me which is letting my thoughts wander to that extent!

I get weirdest of all dreams mostly with those friends who are very close to me and not so close friends. In my dreams those people who come in my dream, knows anything and everything about the other person, though they aren’t even aware about their existence in real life. This really fascinates me! Isn’t this fantastic?

I can think of three dreams right now. First one was about my death. Actually the dream started only after I died and how people were crying and few were laughing because I am no more! And when they were taking me to the cremation ground they pass through a bridge and due to lack of balance they drop me off in a river! And .. and… I don remember because I was woken up!:(


Second one is probably the funniest1 and the funniest part is “I am having a boyfriend in that”! ok.. cut down on the imaginations.. I was not making out and all. The dream was as clean and decent as I am!:) just the thought that I was having a boyfriend was funny for me to keep me laughing for the next two days! And I don remember that unfortunate guy’s face! Lucky for that imaginary guy!

Third is my favourite! I am in the jail! I have been sentenced a 1 year stay in jail for violating the traffic rules! And I am put among those people have killed and looted and done many more things. Oh ya! Two of my not-so-good friends where also there. The jailer was being very nice to me and he was the only nice part. This dream surely had many scary things because I haven seen any burglars in person and for me to see such people in dream was real big thing!

its the lyrics of a song which i feel that it has the deepest meaning abt the human kind and languages!i didn download it... wrote it from the song itself...


Katrin mozhi oliya isaiya
Poovin mozhi nirama mananama
Kadalin mozhi alaiya nuraiya
Kadhal mozhi vizhiya idazha
Iyarkaiyin mozhigal purindhuvidu
Manidarin mozhigal thevaillai
Idhayathin mozhi purindhuvidu
Manidarin mozhigal thevaillai


Katru visum podhu disaigal kidaiyadhu
Kadhal pesum podu mozhigal kidaiyadhu
Pesum varthai pola mounam puriyadhu
Kangal pesum varthai kadavul ariyadhu
Ulava therya katrukku oruvam theta mudiyadhu
Kadhal pesum mozhiellam sabthakootil adangathu


Vanam pesum pechu thuliyai veliyagum
Vanavillin pechu niramai veliyagum
Unmai oomai anal kanner mozhiagum
Penmai ommaianal nanam mozhiagum
Osai thoongum jamathil uchimeengal mozhiagum
Asai thoongam idayathil asaivu kooda mozhiagum

proud to be a tamilian???

Namma Theru Vizha(Our Street festival) is an attempt to showcase to the Chennaiites what the city's all about. Right from its birth, art, culture and tradition have remained synonymous to the 'city of charms'! The brainchild of the Tamil Maiyyam and the Department of Tourism and Culture, Government of Tamilnadu, CHENNAI SANGAMAM started off with the gala opening at IIT-OAT on February 20 with a dance show 'Sange Muzhangu' running through the evolution of the 2000-year old Tamil arts, literature and culture.

Thappattam, karagattam, Oyilattam, mayilattam, thevarattam, Krishnan attam, naiyandi melam, china melam, periya melam, sakkai kuchi attam, kokali attam, puliattam, maan kombattam, poykalkuthiraiattam, jimla melam, thudumbattam, silambattam, kalaripayitru and koothu will share space with classical performances of other States, western music shows, choirs, string quartets, symphony, fusion, rock, rap and jazz. most of us would not have even known that tamilnadu has instore so many art forms!!! whoa!

Six days of undiluted culture is at display in this novel confluence, which from next year is going to be made an yearly Pongal feature like the December festival. Essay contest for collegers, revisiting old movies, anthem for the show, a 'Green Chennai' and 'Give Life' for street children campaign are also highlights of the Sangamam.

It is unconditional and to be shared
It is a sign of celebration
No expectation
No loss
No disappointment
No attachment
Only commitment
That’s love for u!:)

Entered a new world with no expectation
To just come across ten new people
In whose company I was my-self
To tell about my acquaintances
Are they angels or what?
For all the timely help and support from them
Getting to know them was a treat!
Razzmatazz came into existence
Another place to voice my crap
I met the Ms. Universe
A girl of values with an amazing heart!
Woa! The cute Bajaari of all times
Caring and sensitive baby is what she is
My best friend, deepa
A charming person with a radiant smile
Think of orkut and she is the GIRL
Vasu, she is truly fun!
This girl is synonymous to entertainment
And that pudy cat for you!
A sweet thing with a golden heart
She wins over with her vandichi tamil
With all the hissing these angels created memories to be cherished!
Here are “personalities”
Puky: my confidant
Neetu: my humshakal
Shil: my chweetheart
Viji: my Prodigy
Swat: my Hanumani(female form)
Arthi: the charm
Apoorva: vo oru payunna putha…!
Krithika: bommal attam…!
Suman: dulhan!
All of us are crazy people
Born to do crazy things
My mouth tastes bitter
Wit the thought that everything is over!
College life was fun
With all the learning gone into it!

She was late!
It was the "D" day
hurriedly came inside
dressed in red
with a bouquet of red roses
having no clue about her destiny
fear of his refusal dawns her

waiting in the table was the guy
the one of her dreams!
hesitantly she walks across
sits next to him
an air of silence surrounds them
with a shy smile on her face,
with the pink cheeks and the trembling voice she says,
having poured my life into yours
now its your turn!

When he smiles,
I am glad
When he shouts,
I am even more glad
When he feels touched,
I am proud of myself
When he tells something good,
I walk away blessed!
For all I know that
I have made a difference to someone’s life! :)

courtesy- shilpa for talking about something which kindled my thoughts!:)))

Longest ten seconds of my life!

Yesterday was fun! They took us to MGM Dizzee world. I know it might sound little kiddish. I thought the same thing and didn’t want to go! But I t was fun! Went for almost all the rides except for the water world!

One ride which is worth mentioning here ranger! It went 360 degrees! Well, how exciting does that sound? Yesterday was the first time I went for that ride and it was really great! And the best part was, I sat alone for that ride.. in the sense there were two seats in each row and since I didn’t have a partner, I had to sit alone and BOY! God only knows how scared I was! There was a point where we were made to stand over there in the air upside down for about 10 seconds! That’s when I realized how precious my life was for myself if not for anyone else! Just the way Ross declares to everyone that “its his second gifted life”(in one of the episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.) I declare that this is my second lifeJ
It was a real fun day yesterday though the after effects of yesterdays suthufying!

Random thoughts
something which affected me in a big way..
1. Character is something wat i am when noone s looking at me...
how true is that?!?

2.Wat is win in life?

3. Are u living your life to the fullest???

4. circumstance VS urself... whos winning?

5. Are you at NOTHING?

Harder lessons of life!

I was happy, when I was born
There were always ten people around me
To notice me laugh, cry and play around
The world of toys it was!


In my childhood days, I was excited
Was waiting to grow up
Liked to be treated like a grown up
Having a whole bunch of new friends

Then came the long awaited adolescence
These days still very fresh in my mind
All the teasing and major fun i had
The crushes and first love!

End of schooling, I was happy than ever
I became an adult, Lots of responsibilities
Total new world with new people
And I am struggling to face the world
Why were all the hype created, I wonder?!?

Mylapore festival

There was this mylapore festival in mylapore(duh! obviously) in the first week of the new year. After much compulsion by my dad and mom i went with them. To be very frank with it has been very very long since i went to the pakka mylapore side.. i mean though i live in mylapore, i haven been to the "REAL MYLAPORE". I really thought it will be boring will all the puja articles being displayed for sale which doesn't suit my interest. But it was to my surprise... it had real good stuffs to buy. starting from the usual mami stuffs like pickles to all nice bags and accessories to puja items to most importantly good food. the pakka brahmin iyer food was there. It was fun. More than fun it was a good change for me to see different kind of people. Oops almost forgot.. they were from my community. totally different people with pakka acharam still. They still see all the echal, pathu stuff.

oh ya almost forgot!
i did buy a bag which i like the most! the favourite bag ever!

On a solitary walk!

Today there was a rally for AIDS awareness conducted by my college. The walk was from Gandhi statue to Anna square. I wouldn’t say that it was not a long walk, but I enjoyed myself totally. Still my legs are hurting because of the walk but it was FUN! A day to be remembered in my life.

Firstly, the walk was in the beach. I always love walking in the beach be it in the hot sun or in the rain! Whatever it is, It is fun! I don need any friend or and anyone to walk with me. I love being alone at times. It sometimes goes to the extent that I just don’t feel like talking to anyone at all!

The breeze was just too soothing and it was totally refreshing every nerve in my body! There were around 4000 people around me walking in the rally, even my own friends going all cranky( they had totally lost it!) and few were quite thinking that they have to behave very well in the public and the stuff! but I continued to be in my dreamy world! God knows what I was dreaming about! I don remember it!

One horrifying thing was that there where some jobless creatures standing in the road to just look at us and pass comments. They were rating us as though they were looking at something on F TV! Brainless chaps I tell you!

Other than that, the day was brilliant! This walk made me realize a lot of things about myself!
this is one thing i would probably be thankful to my college!