Feels just like a woman...

Go through her journey of childhood, laughter, happiness, sadness, troubles, humiliations, aspirations, ambitions, dreams and what not..
Yes! This is about the book palace of illusions written by chitra divakaruni..
Mind blowing depiction of story of mahabharat from the eyes of draupadi.. A girl who had born to change the course of history. Beyond a point we would never want the story to end!! Atleast I didn't want the book to end in any case..
Certain brilliant portions or plots in the story:
1) The conversation between vyasa and draupadi revealing her future
2) Draupadi s secret love for karna
3) Depiction of the war
4) the differentiation in the love shown by draupadi towards her five husbands and yet being a dutibound wife to all five
5) Karna s confession of his love for draupadi
Well, as a girl there were few points which were my favourite...
A) the limitations posed on a girl during her childhood days and her urge to act or behave like a boy.. Just the curiosity to know and do things which her brother is allowed to do.. Often there used to be a question in my mind that why is it that my brothers are allowed to do certain things which I am not allowed to.. So I titally empathise
B) her love or secret love or crush .. Karna the man of her dreams.. And the way in which she struggvled to convey her love to him.. this has been potrayed in an absolutely beautiful way and has been handled with great care and softness..
C) when she gets to know about karna s love towards her... This was absolutely mind blowing.. The feeling of helplessness creeps in because she has been tied up in so much bondage that she is not free to express and celebrate the love with karna as both of them long for each other s company
D) bheem s love for draupadi is very cute.. Very caring, dutiful and a honest expression of love.. Am sure this is what all girls long for!!!
E) the palace of illusions with all the magic sweeps all our hearts...
F) according to me, vyasa is the hero and cherry on top of the cake..
G) arjun ... My favourite character.. The depiction of the character is awesome.. This character is naturally very heroic and I love it..

This book has added a new colour to mahabharat the indian great history!!! :P
On the whole.. A must read book for all... :) ting!

we have had very many movies on how in a society like ours, it is so difficult for a guy to get over a relationship which he has had in the past with a girl. but not many have thought over the fact that a girl will also go through the same kind of emotions. this is something which has not been captured or much talked about. there are so many things which a girl prefers or rather chooses to keep it to herself which might be mainly with all the fear and opinions posed on her by the society that she chooses to hide it all from the entire world. the point to think about is whether is it justified in doing so? as in put a person (a girl or a boy) through this entire process.

The paradigm of love happens only with the power to choose. so at all points in times, its all about the choice which the guy and the girl makes at any point in time. many a times as it is commonly called in tamil as oru-thala-kadhal is also bound to happen, this is very common and the question is how we deal with it and get over it.

There are couple of questions to be answered first- do we start hating the person whom we loved and liked and chose to love and like for all this while for one single reason that he or she doesn like us? is it their fault? its just the same way we chose to like them they chose not to like us. its not anyones fault. But hating someone is not a solution for getting over that person. WE can continue to like someone and still move on with our life by concentrating on the things which attract more priority in our life. I often hear my friends saying "He/she s a asshole not knowing what a relationship is and how to maintain one and stuff. The question again is who are we and how on earth do we have any authority to talk about what one has to do in a relationship.

Therefore to cut it short, its only a matter of choice as most of the things in life are, and we need to just spread love and not spread unhappiness! thats the ground rule...

it goes like this... engirundhalum vazhga! spread good wishes to everyone and stay peaceful! :D

After a lot of thought process, I sit down to write this post which is solely going to be on a 15 days course which I had attended very recently… the program except for a few was probably not that great but surely there were a lot of personalities whom I met there were mind blowing.
One the first day, in a room of 100 people sitting, little did I think that I will get fantastic friends In that room and most importantly I had no clue about anyone.. just that I knew swathanth was my school junior and EY colleague and I knew Vikram as a person from EY. So there I sat next to a ultimately stunning looking lady… sunitha… She threw her warm smile and became immediately comfortable. We spoke for a while and after the mokkai sessions, we four i.e. Sunitha, Sonia Gandhi, Danny and I were relieved at some point that the day got over  and we led back home… 
Second day was the starting of getting to know so so so many pple… my thought in my mind was always WOAWWWW!!!
Lavanya: she was probably the person to whom I was sittign next to on my birthday.. and from there it all started… bubbly, cute thing.. ofcourse my dance company… awesome company to hang out with 
Ashwin: attukutti… yappa… ennatha nu solla.. a person who just loves to shout and curse me to death.. hahaha.. my kutti brother… fun fun fun… totally company has been real fun.. even the dull days of classes were made lighter with the tiny whiny arguments…. So this guy is all sooper fun to hang with..
Btw.. cant forget to mention his lovely mom… dei unna pakarthuku nan varla unnoda amma va meet panrathuku than vandean ;)
Siddhu: buddhu… another brother of mine… many times, though he is kutti.. there has been something which I have learnt from him daily as a person… he s a real darling!!!  he s extremely sweet and considerate and very very reasonable with no bloody bit of attitude… there have been many things which I have confided in him without even thinking once which can never be done… highly trust worthy :D.. dude will miss u…
Siddartha: can just remember the dance practice sessions… amazing fun company to be with and a good friend with a lot of sensibilities… its nice to have a friend who can talk no sense with a lot of sense and still make you feel really good about yourself at the end of such conversations… such kind of conversations I have had with sid and its great to know him…
Adi: FAFER FAFER FAFER…… thoroughly genuine and totally good at heart was the thing which first sturck me about this guy and it did appeal to me a lot… all the discussions on corruption skits and other things have been totally awesome and I surely knew that if there is something which I cant share with anyone and I needed someone to really understand it genuinely, then it has to be adi..
Vikram: hahahaha.. jus one word for u da… FUN!!!!!! Dude thanks for giving me those fun moments da… really its awesome knowing u…
Venky: a big time friend… common sensibilities, common interest struck the chord between us.. endless conversations and one big thanks for putting up with all my nonsense many a times which am sure I don’t have the real guts to share it anyone else than u… and ofcourse for singing ilaya nila on my request.. thankuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  all the very many chats and discussions about zillion stuff have surely contributed in many new productive thoughts which are surely gonna be useful to both of us… dude better keep in touch..
Preeyaa: the last one with the cherry on the top… my total favourite.. all time fav and my darling.. as I keep telling priya she s a partner.. partner in everything in every sense and at any time In the day and night… it’s a fact that girls take time to get closer with eachother but in our case in was so quick and immediate we never even realized and now when the time has come, it difficult for both of us to really think of not messaging each other……. Darling and I can put up with all her nonsense and so does she.. and our conversations always start with… “hey priya, u know wat..” and “hey nivi, idhu unakku theriyuma..” and goes for endless hours…. Boy will miss every bit of it…
These were some of the people who have impacted my life in a big way in those fifteen days… this doesn mean that others have not contributed.. these ppl have contributed in a bigger way when compared to the others… thanks to one and all.. and guys do keep in touch and do keep mailing;… as sid says I will be stacking the internet so my mails will be flowing in continuously…

Thanks guys for adding so much value to my life! :)

sitting by the side of a window as his thoughts lingered in my mind
not for moment could i think of being away was possible
for always i thought he was the perfect one for me
he did be most happier only with me, ALWAYS!

some random stuff whcih came in when i was travelling on my way to manglore in train and it was raining outside.. so the scenery from inside was beautiful which got translated into poetry...

She was there with me all this while
And now it’s the time to abid goodbye
I loved her so much than anyone else
I used to fight with anyone who used to talk ill about her
I have crawled on her lap all my life time
I have cried, laughed and enjoyed the best moments of my time with her
I have taken all the liberty with her
She has been there when I needed her the most
She has been so protective of me all these years
All the late night outs with friends, patiently putting up with me
Extremely caring and always loving
Now she’s none other than-
Vandorai vazavaikum “tamizhagam”… :)

Struck me very hard right in the heart that I will be missing Chennai terribly in a months time!

after getting the much needed inspiration from the self, i put down an incident which happened in the sai baba temple..
after completing the usual meditation in the room which was very calm.. when i was walking down, i observed that there was a kid who must have been around 5-6 years... kids below 10 years were not allowed inside the meditation room. extremely adorable and cute.. as the age specifies, this kid was undoubtedly curious to know what his mom was doing inside the meditation room. his inquisitive nature made him cry to glory. i have always had a soft corner for kids and i love to ruffle their hair as they will just be as high as my thighs.. i ruffled his hair and said " en azuga kuttiku" he looked at me with eyes filled with tears which were just waiting to touch his cute little cheeks. his mom lifted him up and said "aunty kekara paaru en azahara.. azakudadhu..."

and i heard a volcano bursting inside... it was my heart... and i told myself i need to get used to the word AUNTY.. its painful... but when i have tejas, don i have a choice to complain. i have become a athai and now just the translation of the same in angilam...

always the most difficult period will be the transition period as mentally u know you are still a kid or young.. but the people around you may perceive you to be different and more matured... and am not an exception to this logic...

and am just struggling to make my way into the required sphere....

There are zillions of things shuttling here and there in my mind right now. They are...
1) My dance practises and how my dance program will turn out to be.. Dancing after a gap of some solid 7-8 months(which includes 3 months of sitting at home) absolutely no stamina and not in shape for giving an attractive program! People say i have gained weight which is normal but not wanted! Learning new songs, practising, juggling between personal work, dance practises and work! the very thought gives me goose bumps

2) Exam results..... HIGHLY scary.. soemthing for which i worked for 3 months. I think i was sincere to myself... but really don know what god has instore for me! sigh... cant go on more about this... however my thoughts are positive! guess it will help me always!

3) How do i lose weight which i gained over 3 months of sitting at home! Million dollar question!!!!!!!!! my friend asking me diet! which i need to really think of considering to cut down on the extra flabs! painful :(

4) lazinessssss- the major disease sticking on to me which does not allow me to the "active ME" is the disease of laziness. Lazy about standing up, waking up, jogging, running, dancing and wat not! u name it and yea am lazy about it!!!! hmm.. thinking about the possible reasons, i can probably blame it on the climate for making me so lazy..... but it wont help.. i still have to push myself forcefully out of the beds at 6.30 come wat may, for my yoga classes... so here comes the season again when i will get up early and get to bed late.... past 7 months my routine was too different to really get adjusted to this new routine. I am really fighting my heart out to get adjusted to the new routine which has a lot of advantages and lot of things which i have to miss out on.

5) lots of friends to catch up with.. they will really kill me if i don spare time.... lots of things to do! next two - three months are really scary to even have a thought of how it will be!

will keep u posted about how much of problems I face during these 2-3 months... as this is the only place i can fully express my thoughts! byeeee